Persuading and the Art of Not Talking

by | Sep 30, 2025

Dave Mashburn reminds us that the most counterintuitive principle of interviewing is the discipline and art of listening well.

Listen more, talk less. This is the secret sauce needed to win a person over to you and your company.

Where do we get the impression that people will be impressed by us and decide to change their lives because of what we say, or how much we know?

Know this—only the most desperate candidates will be impressed by what you have to say, and the best candidates will probably be repelled.

So, what do candidates need?

They need to be understood.

Everyone likes to be understood, but it is never more important than when a person is considering a massive life change, like the decision to become a realtor, or to change companies (or even buying a house for that matter).

You may begin to think that I am suggesting that you should not “sell” your office or yourselves at all. I’m not suggesting this.

I am simply stating that you must thoroughly understand the candidate’s story before you earn the right to speak into their lives.

In other words, stop promoting. Instead, create an environment where attraction can sprout and grow.

 

The Simple Psychology of Real Estate Recruiting [2nd Edition]

Unlock the secrets of effective real estate recruiting. Revised to include actionable frameworks for sharper execution and to help you turn psychological theory into a repeatable recruiting system.

Creating Pacts to Avoid Distraction

Creating Pacts to Avoid Distraction

Notice the two parts to Nir’s formula: a pre-commitment and an external force to keep you accountable to that commitment. For recruiting setting goals and time-blocks in your schedule is not enough. Most people need some kind of external accountability, as well.

Look for Individuals Who Want to be Measured

Look for Individuals Who Want to be Measured

It’s not that people with a growth mindset don’t experience failure—they just see failure as an opportunity to learn new things, to be challenged, and to experience curiosity. This is an important topic to cover during interviews and follow-up conversations with your prospects. If you find someone who likes being measured, you’ve likely found someone who will push through the inherent failures of growing a real estate business and experience long-term success.