Humans are wired for connection.
According to University of Rochester professor Harry Reis, our relationships feel right when we perceive those on the other side of interactions are responsive to us.
Perceived responsiveness entails:
Understanding: Â the belief that relationship partners understand and appreciate what is important to you.
Validation: Â the belief your relationship partner respects who you are and what you want.
Caring: Â the belief your relationship partner will take active and supportive steps to help you get your needs met.
By nature, this is the feedback you’re looking for when you have any conversation.
But you’ll typically not get this kind of response during a recruiting conversation—especially in the early stages.
How do you get around this obstacle?
1. Push past the initial uneasiness. If you retreat every time you feel a little awkwardness, you’ll never recruit anyone.
Once you know why this resistance exists, it becomes easier to push past it.
2. Turn the tables. You’re not the only one who wants relational responsiveness—your recruiting prospects desire the same thing.
Quickly focus the conversation on providing them the understanding, validation, and caring they crave.
The best recruiting happens when you’re able to temporarily ignore your basic need for connectedness and help those in your recruiting pipeline feel something remarkable.
P.S. When you’re in the day-to-day whirlwind of recruiting, self-diagnosing these types of underlying defenses is nearly impossible. This is where a coach can help.  Reach out if you’d like to learn more.
