NPR’s “Hidden Brain” host Shankar Vedantam explored the fear that people experience when starting a conversation with a stranger.
Many people assume striking up a conversation would be less pleasant than sitting in solitude.
People believe they are maximizing their well-being by sitting on the train, or maybe in a cab, or on a bus, or in a waiting room and ignoring each other.
This is an odd assumption because humans are one of the most social species on the planet and get a lot of happiness and satisfaction from making connections with others.
So, why the resistance? It boils down to a belief we have about strangers.
According to Vedantam, this belief was documented in a recent experiment involving commuters.
Volunteers were assigned to one of three conditions–engage with the people around them, sit in solitude, or act as they normally would on their commute.
The volunteers predicted they would be the least happy if they had to engage with other people on the train.
They also estimated that fewer than 50% of the people around them would be willing to engage in a conversation if they tried.
The experiment produced a surprising result.
The study group that proactively engaged in conversations not only reported having the most pleasant commutes, but they also found that almost 100% of the people they engaged were willing to have a reciprocal conversation.
Just like the commuters found out, much of the recruiting process is governed by false assumptions and fear.
This week, make a special effort to step out and engage.
The first step is the hardest.
