How to Restart a Recruiting Conversation That Has Stalled

by | Dec 3, 2025

Hiring managers and recruiters seem to struggle most at two points in the recruiting process.

The first sticking point is what to say to get the initial conversation going.

The next hurdle is restarting a conversation with someone in your pipeline whom you haven’t spoken to in a while.

Here is a texting script I shared a while back that can be used to break the ice in either situation:

Hey [first name], you just popped up in my head, so I figured I should say hello and check-in. How are things? How is [a struggle, a common problem, a goal, etc.] working out for you? Anything you need right now? Hope you’re well, but if there are any little or big stresses I can help with, let me know.

You can change it up so it doesn’t sound too repetitive/canned, but the basic structure, flow, and general content can be reused frequently.

When recruiting dialogs get stalled (and they often do), this is a great way to restart the conversation when you hit a lull.

 

 

The Simple Psychology of Real Estate Recruiting [2nd Edition]

Unlock the secrets of effective real estate recruiting. Revised to include actionable frameworks for sharper execution and to help you turn psychological theory into a repeatable recruiting system.

Find a Struggle to Share

Find a Struggle to Share

If you want to connect with someone beyond the surface level, find something they’re struggling with and share in their pain.
Authors Chip and Dan Heath describe how this works:
One study found that when strangers were asked to perform a painful task together—in one case, submerging their hands in tubs of ice water to perform a sorting task—they felt a greater sense of bonding than did strangers who had performed the same task in room temperature water.
This bonding happened even though the task was pointless.