Humans naturally want to avoid the mental disharmony they feel when new information is introduced that conflicts with their behaviors.

This is called cognitive dissonance.

According to the AAMC, there are four ways individuals typically respond to cognitive dissonance:

Denying:  Insisting there is no difference between my beliefs and behaviors.

Modifying Reality:  Yes, it appears there is a difference between my beliefs and behaviors, but you don’t understand my reality (e.g., I don’t really work for that broker–I work for myself.).

Trivializing:  Yes, there is a difference between my beliefs and behaviors, but it’s not significant or important (e.g., All brokers are pretty much the same.).

Rationalizing:  Yes, there is a difference between my beliefs and behaviors, but there are things you don’t understand about my situation.

When you hear one or more of these responses, it should tip you off to what’s happening in the mind of your candidate.

Here’s the bad news:  When someone is experiencing cognitive dissonance, it’s very difficult for them to trust the person who’s challenging their beliefs.

As we discussed yesterday, the common strategies of adding more information to your side of the argument or demonstrating how the candidate is wrong will make the situation worse, not better.

In the short-term, it’s better to back off and do what you can to maintain the relationship.

Perhaps at some point in the future, the candidate will be intrinsically motivated to make a change.

At that point, you’ll be glad you fostered an open line of communication.