In the early ‘60s, Stephen Karpman noticed patterns of how people act in conflict-ridden organizations.
The patterns were summed up in three types of “actors” who interacted in what he called the Drama Triangle.
The three types of actors are:
1. The Victim. This is a person who sees life as happening to them and feels powerless to change their circumstances.
2. The Persecutor. This is the person or situation that is causing the problem that seems unsolvable to the victim.
3. The Rescuer. This is a person who seems to want to help the victim but acts in a way that is geared to the rescuer’s own need to be seen and appreciated.
In the real estate industry, there is a never-ending stream of persecutors (difficult market conditions, other agents who get all the best leads, unfair competition, demanding clients, and dozens more).
And real estate offices and teams tend to have lots of drama because there are many agents who are ready and willing to play the role of the victim.
If these were the only two factors in play, the drama would just simmer at a low level.
Things start to escalate when a rescuer enters the equation.
Why? Because a victim needs a catalyst for the drama to sprout and grow in an organization.
This is the role of the rescuer.
I frequently hear hiring managers say: I want to hire drama-free agents!
That’s a great objective, but to accomplish it you must first look in the mirror.
The only part of the process you can truly control is whether you’ll play the role of the rescuer.
Great leaders eliminate the drama by refusing to activate the victims.
More tomorrow on how to be one of those leaders.
