Persuading and the Art of Not Talking

by | Sep 30, 2025

Dave Mashburn reminds us that the most counterintuitive principle of interviewing is the discipline and art of listening well.

Listen more, talk less. This is the secret sauce needed to win a person over to you and your company.

Where do we get the impression that people will be impressed by us and decide to change their lives because of what we say, or how much we know?

Know this—only the most desperate candidates will be impressed by what you have to say, and the best candidates will probably be repelled.

So, what do candidates need?

They need to be understood.

Everyone likes to be understood, but it is never more important than when a person is considering a massive life change, like the decision to become a realtor, or to change companies (or even buying a house for that matter).

You may begin to think that I am suggesting that you should not “sell” your office or yourselves at all. I’m not suggesting this.

I am simply stating that you must thoroughly understand the candidate’s story before you earn the right to speak into their lives.

In other words, stop promoting. Instead, create an environment where attraction can sprout and grow.

 

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Unlock the secrets of effective real estate recruiting. Revised to include actionable frameworks for sharper execution and to help you turn psychological theory into a repeatable recruiting system.

The Attrition Variables

The Attrition Variables

While these attrition constants still have the greatest influence, there are some emerging attrition variables worth noting. People also tend to leave companies when: They feel like they’re not doing as well as others in their peer group outside the company. They feel like they’re not as far along as they should be at a certain point in life.

The Attrition Constants

The Attrition Constants

If you’re not focusing most of your retention effort on these issues, you’ll miss the mark. If you’re not focusing most of your recruiting effort on exploiting these weaknesses among your competitors, you’re missing the best opportunities.

The Persistence Mindset

The Persistence Mindset

A leader equipped with this mindset can have a profound effect on the life and career of each individual they engage. It works because an agent is getting a real-time glimpse of what it would be like to work on your team. But it only becomes believable when it is persistently applied over time.