Why Your Prospects Seem to Irrationally Resist Change

by | Oct 24, 2025

In a post from the archive, Dave Mashburn explained why your recruiting prospects often irrationally resist making a change.

The only time that we are comfortable with first steps and change is when we are young.

We don’t mind falling a few times before learning to stand and walk.

But as people get older, they resist change and become more attached to security and familiarity, even if we are bored or unhappy with the familiar.

This doesn’t mean a person will never make changes, but it does mean that the changes being considered will usually be met with internal (and sometimes irrational) defenses.

The defense follows a predictable pattern: self-activation leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to defense.

To make a change, a person must self-activate (I’m down 35% this year, and what I used to do is not working. I need to try something different.).

The moment self-activation occurs, your prospect will begin to experience anxiety.

And to fight off the anxiety, they’ll manufacture defenses.

This means they’ll come up with a multitude of reasons they should no longer consider moving in the direction they were previously excited about considering.

As a result, the recruiting process is often filled with many fits and starts.

Hiring managers who are willing to be patient will eventually win-over some of the most defensive prospects.

But it takes time and gentle persistence.

 

The Simple Psychology of Real Estate Recruiting [2nd Edition]

Unlock the secrets of effective real estate recruiting. Revised to include actionable frameworks for sharper execution and to help you turn psychological theory into a repeatable recruiting system.

The Attrition Variables

The Attrition Variables

While these attrition constants still have the greatest influence, there are some emerging attrition variables worth noting. People also tend to leave companies when: They feel like they’re not doing as well as others in their peer group outside the company. They feel like they’re not as far along as they should be at a certain point in life.

The Attrition Constants

The Attrition Constants

If you’re not focusing most of your retention effort on these issues, you’ll miss the mark. If you’re not focusing most of your recruiting effort on exploiting these weaknesses among your competitors, you’re missing the best opportunities.

The Persistence Mindset

The Persistence Mindset

A leader equipped with this mindset can have a profound effect on the life and career of each individual they engage. It works because an agent is getting a real-time glimpse of what it would be like to work on your team. But it only becomes believable when it is persistently applied over time.